Farting roses

Farting, or the more scientific name of flatulence, is a personal, social and aromatic disaster. It has caused numerous embarrassing and awkward moments in the history of mankind. Why can't our farts smell like roses? The answer lies in the chemistry of aromatic compounds. The smell of roses is caused by the compound called Geranyl acetate and is a carbo-hydrate, meaning it is composed of a carbon backbone with hydrogen and oxygen on its side. On the other hand, flatulence is made of carbohydrate compounds that have nitrogen and sulfur in them.

Why can't we simply take a pill with the rosy molecules and thus make our flatulence have good fragrance? The problem with the good aromatic compounds is that they are decomposed in our digestive system since they are similar to food-stuff that holds energy. Thus, they are digested by acids and the entire digestive tract, from the stomach to the colon. The flatulence smell is generated by the bacteria in our digestive systems, as a byproduct of their decomposition of foodstuff that makes it to the large intestine. In other words, rose molecules turn to smelly farts.

However, recent developments in drug delivery systems may cause our lives to smell less awkwardly. The secret is in slow-delivery systems and new encapsulation techniques. Nowadays, there are unique methods that can encapsulate a specific compound, usually a drug, such that the compound is released from its host slowly into the blood stream. Moreover, for a long time encapsulation techniques are known that can protect materials from the acidic environment in the stomach, such that they reach the colon. One anti-flatulence drug is made out of encapsulated grounded-coal, such that the material reaches the colon, by surviving the rough voyage through the stomach, and there it captures the gasses released by the bacteria in the colon.

However, I believe it is not good enough to stop the bad fragrances, but also to enable us to choose how we wish to smell, not only from our tops, via shampoos and conditioners, but from our bottoms as well. I suggest to develop slowly-releasing encapsulation digestive nano-structures that release good aromatic compounds as they reach their final destination. Wouldn't it be nice to hear a fart and say, "mmm… Chanel?"